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ANDRA WEST
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Awakening Mindfulness Blog

April 26th, 2018

4/26/2018

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I try to teach my children about how to do small talk. Especially my oldest daughter, who like me is not a big fan. I went years claiming that small talk wasn't my thing, and really at the heart of it, it isn't but why? I now think of small talk as a converstation we have with someone we feel disconnected with. Thats the feeling i don't like. Disconnection. Ugh! I don't enjoy facing my own awkwardness that arises when i find myself feeling separate. Its social anxiety, or whatever you want to call it, and some of us have a harder time with it than others. 
I use to drink at social gatherings, and that really took the edge off, it made me forget that i felt separate, it made me feel like i could just jump right in, but the funny thing about alcohol is it makes you more comfortable, but only temporarily. 
How many of you have had to much to drink at a party, made a best friend, fell in love, and then the next day you see the person and you are like...ummm...hey...there...insert awkward downcast gaze.The awkwardness is still there because we missed the heart connection. 
So, how do we connect with people in small talk situations ,like parties, when we yearn for connection?
I have found the best way for me, fully awake and sober me, to connect with people when i am experiencing acutely the lie of separateness. Is to ASK THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT THEMSELVES. Do your best to get to know them, ask questions out of genuine curiosity and listen deeply, Care about the response. 
The lie of separateness cannot survive in the light of attention, affection, and deep listening. 
The more you get to know about your new friend, the more quickly the illusion of separation will melt away, and you can rest together in the knowing that you are them and they are you.

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30 Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starts May 1st. Join us!

4/23/2018

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Did you wake up this morning wishing you would have had less to drink last night?
Maybe it is time for a change of pace?
Our very 1st 30 day Alcohol Free Challenge at Mindful Sobriety starts Tuesday May 1st! Join us, invite a friend!
Here is the link to sign up:
http://www.andrawest.com/30-day-alcohol-free-challenge.html

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The most awesome thing happens when we start take a deeper look at out habits

4/20/2018

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Shining the light on habits:
When we start removing the unhealthy habits we use to numb ourselves against our feelings, our feelings are raw and uncovered.
Things we haven't faced in years, maybe even been avoiding for decades come rushing into view. Open, uncomfortable, unguarded...blinding. 
Mindfulness and mediation are like a bright light, not soothing in the beginning, but even more exposing. Showing us all the details of our suffering. 
It hurts here, I am unsettled here, all the nooks and cranny's revealed. 
When we sit with that raw landscape, without apology, when we just stay, we begin to understand it.
Yes, it is VERY uncomfortable but if we sit in the fire of it, in the bright light of it, our full view gives us perspective. 
We may begin to realize the big bad monster we have been running from is just seeking love, affection, attention, to be heard. 
We have the power to give ourselves and our suffering this unconditional love, unwavering attention. We have the power to gently caress our suffering, and to express multitudes of gratitude towards ourselves for our perseverance, our bravery. We can express Multitudes of compassion towards the places we have stepped out of our integrity, or acted unwisely. 
We can begin to become our own safe place. Loving ourselves fearlessly, even with it all exposed. 
We can give ourselves the love and approval we have been seeking.
​What a gift, what a blessing.

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Are you sleep walking through your life? How mindfulness can wake you up.

4/18/2018

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The 5 Surprising Benefits of Quitting Alcohol

4/16/2018

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The day I decided to quit drinking alcohol was not the first time I decided to quit. If fact, I had spent nearly a year, maybe even two, stuck in a place where I felt uncomfortable with my own drinking habits. To say I thought about my drinking habits a lot is an understatement, I thought about it approximately 50% of my day. Sounds exhausting, I know, and believe me when I tell you that IT WAS!
During this time in my life an average day went like this:
Wake up: Slightly hungover
Say to myself: I am never going to drink again...
Say that mantra, again and again: I will never drink again, I will never drink again...
Beat my self up a bit about my lack of will power...and by "a bit" I mean A LOT.
Around 4 pm my resolve began to crumble
By 5pm, never before 5pm (I know right? that makes it normal to need a drink every night because thats when its socially appropriate to drink...right?!) after SO MUCH deliberation, I would have talked myself back into having a glass of wine. Than maybe two, often three...never 4 because thats a whole bottle folks, and we all know that if you drink a full bottle of wine by yourself, you have a problem....right?!
Wake up: Slightly hung over
START THE WHOLE CYCLE AGAIN...
Are you exhausted yet? I have a feeling if you have read this far, you know exactly how this cycle goes, and that you are yearning for freedom. 
I am here to say that freedom IS possible.
The best way to start is to get support and take a break from drinking. Easier said than done, I know. Different things work for different people. To start, you can join our Mindful Sobriety community on Facebook, and sign up for our 30 day Mindful alcohol-free challenge. That jump start may be enough to start your alcohol free journey. You may find that you want more support.
There are tons of great recovery programs out there, AA and Refuge Recovery are at the top of the list. You can find a great counselor/therapist that will guide you. There are also great blogs out there to read to get perspective: check out Mr's D is going without , her blog was a major part of the success of my sobriety.
There are so many surprising benefits that happen when you quit drinking. Starting with what I think is the most important.
  • FREEDOM FROM THINKING ABOUT DRINKING! You will have so much more time, mental energy, and clarity. If 50% of your time was spent thinking about your drinking habits, imagine what you can do with all that space! Maybe you will start a new hobby, take up exercise, join a book club, learn to bake bread. You can use all that thought process energy to think about your goals and dreams. What do you want to do with your precious life, how can you take action to make your dreams reality?
  • Better sleep! Hallelujah!!! SLEEP. IS. BETTER. WITHOUT. ALCOHOL.  Alcohol helps you fall asleep, but all the sugar, and the toxins (it's poison, remember) make you wake up around 3 or 4 am with a start, you feel nauseous, heart pounding, thinking of the night before, regretting drinking. You know all about this one. It sucks. Once you stop drinking, you will need to learn some new self soothing habits to get to sleep, but once you are asleep you will sleep like a baby, and you probably will not have to wake up to pee, because you will not have all that booze onboard that needs to leave your system. 
  • Better mood! Alcohol is a Depressant. It stimulates you for like...a millisecond...and then, bam you crash. It depresses your mood, and increases anxiety acutely and long-term. I always found this to be the most shocking lie that we buy into about alcohol. We drink to relax and to feel good, but the joke is on us. Alcohol makes you feel crappy. I was so surprised by how much my mood improved when i stopped drinking. 
  • Improved physical health! Alcohol has sugar in it...a lot of sugar. It is also poison. When you stop drinking a zillion grams of sugar filled poison a day it effects your health, in a very positive way. Here is a short list of the health benefits I have experienced since i stopped drinking: I exercise more (because i feel better). I have better skin. I have lost weight (water retention gone). I am stronger. I have more energy...the list could go on and on. 
  • Improved relationships! So many of my friendships when I was drinking were centered around... drinking. Wine was everywhere, playdates, girls night out, dinner with my husband. When I stopped drinking there were a few friends who peeled off, they were not comfortable with my choice and that was their choice. It was a bit tricky socially in the beginning of my sober journey. I had to figure out how to navigate the social world without alcohol, and that was new and scary. But the fruits of my alcohol-free relationships were beyond what I could have imagined. I discovered who my real friends were. I discovered that I have more meaningful conversations that I remember when I am sober. I discovered that i have MORE FUN. I feel like i need to repeat that one, for me and for you because it is the most amazing part. I have MORE FUN sober than I ever did drinking alcohol. I love who I am because I feel good about myself, I love that i show up fully present and AWAKE, I love that my relationships are not built around numbing out.
The alcohol-free ADVENTURE is waiting for you. It is a wild ride, and it is worth its weight in gold. I hope you will join us  for our 30 day alcohol free challenge so you can experience a taste of the freedom and health that are possible for you. 
To your health!
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Join The Mindful Sobriety community

4/9/2018

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Interested in taking a break from alcohol? Come visit the Mindful Sobriety community page on Facebook and like and share for upcoming challenges, community, and posts about living a mindfully alcohol free life.
Mindful Sobriety is a place to connect with community and get support around living an alcohol-free life. Wether you are deciding to take a break from alcohol temporarily or you are are looking for a long term change of habit, 
Please know that you are all welcome and supported here.
We don’t use labels, and we don’t put you in a life long labeled box. We don’t refer to Drinking alcohol as a sickness or imply that abstaining from alcohol is the solution for everyone and everything. 
We believe that rethinking habits is healthy, and we believe that living an alcohol-free life is great for your mental and physical health. We are a bunch of mindful teetotalers (you may need to look that one up ;))
We base our alcohol-free life choice on 5 pillars
1. Alcohol-Free comitment
2. Community/Connection 
3. Meditation/Mindfulness 
4. Movement/Exercise 
5. Inquiry/Reflection
I am so glad you will be joining us on this great adventure. Bring a friend, and look out for our 30 day alcohol free challenges, private sobriety coaching, and online courses. 
Love, 
Andra West 
Mindful Sobriety Coach
Please note: 
*This community is not a substitute for a structured recovery program, and it is not a substitute for detox, it is also not a substitute for a long term rehabilitation program. If you feel you need any of those types of intervention than please let me know and I can help connect you with someone who can help.
Join Our 30 Day Alcohol-Free Mindfulness Challenge
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    Author: ANdra West

    Andra is committed to helping people who feel stuck find freedom through awakening mindfulness. 

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