Sometimes we get caught in a tit for tat.
Your going to be impatient with me?
So ill be impatient with your impatience.
Your going to be cruel to me?
I will be cruel back to you.
You are going to be insensitive?
Ill be insensitive right back.
That'll show em' right?
This habitual tactic never really works
It just escalates things.
Our low hanging energy, pulls the energetic connection in the relationship even lower.
We are both stuck down in the muck, hackles raised.
We are much more successful in creating thriving relationships when we show people how we would like to be treated, by treating them the way we would like to be treated.
We want patience, be patient.
We want kindness, be kind.
We want sensitivity, be sensitive.
We want to be heard, listen.
Why don't we take this high road more often?
Because Its scary as heck to be unguarded, vulnerable and open in our kindness, not knowing if it will be reflected back to us.
If it isn't we have decisions to make.
And those decisions are scary.
If we are consistently patient, kind, sensitive and we are met with the opposite, than we are forced to choose boundaries, reassess relationships...
And thats hard.
But we have to ask out selves...
Am I going to choose my behavior just to prove a point?
Am I going to choose a lifetime of living in low hanging emotions? Am I playing tit for tat?
Can I choose to have kindness as my highest intention, above being right, above having the upper hand?
Can i trust myself to take care of myself when people consistently don't treat me well even in the face of my kindness.
Can i trust that i can express every ounce of my feelings without sinking unto the heavy muck?
What really matters to me? Am i showing those I love how to treat me by treating them the way i would like to be treated?
Phew its a biggie and it takes a lot of intention to break out habitual ways of communication.
But i think its worth it.
I would like to hear from you what the top 4 traits you find important in a friend, partner, or family member. Are you fully expressing these traits towards them. If not, how could you put them into action? How would this change the dynamic?
It’s a radical act in this go go go world to sit down, be still, and check in. GET MINDFUL GREENSBORO is an opportunity to meditate together in community and get intentional about waking up to the beauty of the present moment. Join Andra West LeBauer on June 3rd at 11am at LeBauer park to sit, breathe, and connect.
Click here to RSVP