Moderate or abstain..that is the question

I walk through my life aware of my addictive tendencies like...mindful....moderation....mindful....moderation....and then i am at a party and see a gigantic overflowing bowl of M&M's and i am like, i am mindful of the call of those M&M's, i am mindful that i am eating what could be considered a non-moderate amount of M&M's...and then....ugh i think i just ate 300 m&m's...and so it is....Sometimes when your not drinking and everyone is you join the kiddos in the sugar craze. Back to the focus...mindful...moderate...self forgiving...healthy
But here is the interesting part, last night at this wonderful party i was chatting with another sober girlfriend and another girlfriend who helps people in sobriety, but does not struggle with addiction. My friend who doesn't struggle with addiction was telling us that she was able to use drugs and alcohol in her youth but she was able to moderate and walk away, my sober girlfriend reminder her "thats great for YOU but not everyone is so lucky, for some people moderation is literally impossible." This is a BIG truth that you cannot understand unless you have experienced it first hand or with a loved one. Some people do not have the off switch. I feel like people who excel at moderation need to stop trying to teach and preach moderation to others, these two types of people are speaking different languages and their is literally no translation that is sufficient. Some of us non-moderators are lucky enough to be awakened to the our inability to moderate and choose to just abstain, but let me tell you first hand that it is super tricky to practice moderation in all things (especially things that we need to interface with on a day-to-day basis to survive) because that part of our brain is always like...how can i find MORE comfort in this moment. We are comfort seekers gone a little haywire. The whole world becomes a lesson, a practice in truth, integrity, moderation, forgiveness...So, if you know an addict who is sober you should have a deep respect for them...they are working very hard. Its the walk of the warrior. I bow to you, all addicts in recovery, in deep respect. You are amazing and a light, beautifully bright and strong. May your time sitting in the fire of abstaining ignite your spirit and transform you, and may you shine your transformation on others.

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